Under the Surface

I keep talking myself out of it when I think about writing this post.  No one will read it. The world has much bigger things to pay attention to.  If I can write the post, I could be writing the actual work instead. It's just going to end up being a long ramble. Part of my trauma recovery has been learning to take more of a "yes, and" approach with myself when I think like this. Something that sounds similar to voices from my past saying, "Let's just pretend for a minute that what they said is true...", but less politely hostile and more genuinely concerned. Even if everything my mind raises as an obstacle is true, I should still write this post. Yes, this blog is a way to put out information about my work. That's not all it is, though. That's why I said in the beginning that I'm not doing a schedule, and that it's me talking myself through things while others are welcome to follow along. If it's going to be a mess of mental rambling, tha...

While I did change from Our Year of Fiery Chaos 2024 to Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2025, I did not come into 2026 with a new fancy title for the year. We're only a few days in and, unfortunately but not unsurprisingly, there are too many possibilities. It will just be Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2026. Other things need my attention.  I've switched from the story I've been working on for a few months to the one I've slowly been working on for almost a year. It kept getting pushed aside for other projects, but I never let go of the intention to write it. This pushes my Lovecraftian Mythos story to the side for a while, but the writing is going well and I don't want to let this flood of story dry up without me getting the writing done! Even with all of that story pouring out, I'm still talking myself through daily life by writing poems. I catch stray thoughts that way. I make talking to myself sound fancy. Sometimes, the form of a poem is the framework for setting up ...

I keep saying I'm going to write this post, but so much of this year has been overwhelming and traumatic in ways that make me run and hide from having to look back. I also recognize that's part of why I need to write this post. I need to see the places where creativity and exploration grew through the cracks like dandelions in the sidewalk. Remind me to tell you the dandelion story someday. Not today, though. I've already got a lot to cover here.  (Three very large piles of origami cranes in a variety of colors.) I started the year with a commitment to folding one thousand origami cranes, and I did it! I'm thankful for everyone who told me how much they loved seeing the pictures each day. Each crane was folded as a prayer, but I don't know how far I would have made it if I hadn't had those little messages of joy and hope. (Green cherry tomatoes growing on a plant with a red brick wall in the background.) After too many years of not growin...

I was going through organizing the poems I've written this year (current count: more than I thought!) and I had an idea for a form based on one of my favorite numbers.  Okay, this may be important information because you will see me make mistakes with numbers. If not now, it will happen eventually. It does happen in me talking about what I was doing with this. I have dyscalculia. It is a learning disability often called "the mathematical dyslexia" because it's similar enough, in some ways, that people who have never heard of it don't have to sit through a long explanation when that isn't the focus of the conversation. I make mistakes with numbers that people don't usually expect from someone who has made it through first or second grade. It's not because I don't understand basic math. It's because a learning disability makes it hard for me to add without counting on my fingers, read maps, remember which coin has which value, and a list of other...

I have a "What I Did During Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2025" post in mind, but we're not there yet. Where are we, then? We're at a point where my writing is more widely available!  You can now get  my work on Kindle . That means you can also gift my work to someone else on Kindle. Yes, it's still available  on Itch.io  and through  my ko-fi . Some people would prefer not to buy from Amazon, others will find it easier on Kindle, and I'm keeping options open.  You can also find those books on goodreads now! I'm working on getting in with their author program, but for now you can find my work on goodreads by searching for "LK Nesse". I admit I'm nervous about reviews. I don't think everyone would love my work. If that's what I was aiming for, I wouldn't be putting enchanted forest stories and American cinquain poems out there. Ideally, I think reviews are important for helping people find what is right for them and avoid what isn'...

It's after 3:30 am, so I can tell you where I should be going, and that's to bed. Sleep isn't coming easily, though, I have a little cat friend curled up close to me, and I said in the beginning that I would likely use this blog to talk through things for myself more than anything else. Welcome to Me Talking to Myself!  I started Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2025 determined to finally make good on a promise I made to myself many years ago when I was in elementary school. Become an author! Which, okay...I guess I had already done that. I've written a lot of things over the years. But I meant an author who has books available for people to buy! The problem at the beginning of the year was that I was scared. Information about Amazon seemed overwhelming. Everything else looked even more overwhelming. There were a few options I read information about and didn't understand enough of it to know if I thought it would be overwhelming or not.  Let's not forget my dear friend...