Under the Surface

I've said before that I'm not good at talking about a project while I'm still working on it. I don't know what might change between when I talked about it and when it's finished. I don't know if the energy I put into talking about it will drain energy away from the writing. If I say too much, what if I feel like I've mostly told the story and there's no reason to write it anymore?  But I do want to share something about what I'm currently working on. No, not the one that got pushed aside for now. No, not the one that I'm not seriously working on but my mind keeps whispering little hints of inspiration for. The one in the middle. The one I've been immersing myself in and coming up for air just so I can dive back in and keep writing!  If you follow me on Bluesky, you've probably seen me posting little bits for the daily #WIPSnips prompts, so you know it's a fairy tale retelling. Names get mentioned, but I haven't talked about how I...

If you follow me on Instagram or Bluesky, you've probably seen pictures from my weirdbook. I've mentioned it a few times here and keep saying I'll explain it one day. Today is explanation day!  Let's go back to late 2024. I was aware that how I felt about posting things on social media was getting in the way of my willingness to try things with art. I'm not selling my art - not that kind, since writing is art - but I felt like even personal stuff that I share has to look good and keep people engaged. That meant I couldn't spend time on things that weren't going to be shared. That had been building for some time, but I hadn't been aware of it. I recognized it at around the same time as seeing some artists falling into a "What's the point?" pit. It had always been hard to sell art, and now they had to fight against so many people getting all excited about using LLMs to generate pictures.  There's a lot that's already been said about h...

I keep talking myself out of it when I think about writing this post.  No one will read it. The world has much bigger things to pay attention to.  If I can write the post, I could be writing the actual work instead. It's just going to end up being a long ramble. Part of my trauma recovery has been learning to take more of a "yes, and" approach with myself when I think like this. Something that sounds similar to voices from my past saying, "Let's just pretend for a minute that what they said is true...", but less politely hostile and more genuinely concerned. Even if everything my mind raises as an obstacle is true, I should still write this post. Yes, this blog is a way to put out information about my work. That's not all it is, though. That's why I said in the beginning that I'm not doing a schedule, and that it's me talking myself through things while others are welcome to follow along. If it's going to be a mess of mental rambling, tha...

While I did change from Our Year of Fiery Chaos 2024 to Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2025, I did not come into 2026 with a new fancy title for the year. We're only a few days in and, unfortunately but not unsurprisingly, there are too many possibilities. It will just be Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2026. Other things need my attention.  I've switched from the story I've been working on for a few months to the one I've slowly been working on for almost a year. It kept getting pushed aside for other projects, but I never let go of the intention to write it. This pushes my Lovecraftian Mythos story to the side for a while, but the writing is going well and I don't want to let this flood of story dry up without me getting the writing done! Even with all of that story pouring out, I'm still talking myself through daily life by writing poems. I catch stray thoughts that way. I make talking to myself sound fancy. Sometimes, the form of a poem is the framework for setting up ...

I keep saying I'm going to write this post, but so much of this year has been overwhelming and traumatic in ways that make me run and hide from having to look back. I also recognize that's part of why I need to write this post. I need to see the places where creativity and exploration grew through the cracks like dandelions in the sidewalk. Remind me to tell you the dandelion story someday. Not today, though. I've already got a lot to cover here.  (Three very large piles of origami cranes in a variety of colors.) I started the year with a commitment to folding one thousand origami cranes, and I did it! I'm thankful for everyone who told me how much they loved seeing the pictures each day. Each crane was folded as a prayer, but I don't know how far I would have made it if I hadn't had those little messages of joy and hope. (Green cherry tomatoes growing on a plant with a red brick wall in the background.) After too many years of not growin...

I was going through organizing the poems I've written this year (current count: more than I thought!) and I had an idea for a form based on one of my favorite numbers.  Okay, this may be important information because you will see me make mistakes with numbers. If not now, it will happen eventually. It does happen in me talking about what I was doing with this. I have dyscalculia. It is a learning disability often called "the mathematical dyslexia" because it's similar enough, in some ways, that people who have never heard of it don't have to sit through a long explanation when that isn't the focus of the conversation. I make mistakes with numbers that people don't usually expect from someone who has made it through first or second grade. It's not because I don't understand basic math. It's because a learning disability makes it hard for me to add without counting on my fingers, read maps, remember which coin has which value, and a list of other...