Under the Surface

If you follow me on Instagram or Bluesky, you've probably seen pictures from my weirdbook. I've mentioned it a few times here and keep saying I'll explain it one day. Today is explanation day!  Let's go back to late 2024. I was aware that how I felt about posting things on social media was getting in the way of my willingness to try things with art. I'm not selling my art - not that kind, since writing is art - but I felt like even personal stuff that I share has to look good and keep people engaged. That meant I couldn't spend time on things that weren't going to be shared. That had been building for some time, but I hadn't been aware of it. I recognized it at around the same time as seeing some artists falling into a "What's the point?" pit. It had always been hard to sell art, and now they had to fight against so many people getting all excited about using LLMs to generate pictures.  There's a lot that's already been said about h...

I keep talking myself out of it when I think about writing this post.  No one will read it. The world has much bigger things to pay attention to.  If I can write the post, I could be writing the actual work instead. It's just going to end up being a long ramble. Part of my trauma recovery has been learning to take more of a "yes, and" approach with myself when I think like this. Something that sounds similar to voices from my past saying, "Let's just pretend for a minute that what they said is true...", but less politely hostile and more genuinely concerned. Even if everything my mind raises as an obstacle is true, I should still write this post. Yes, this blog is a way to put out information about my work. That's not all it is, though. That's why I said in the beginning that I'm not doing a schedule, and that it's me talking myself through things while others are welcome to follow along. If it's going to be a mess of mental rambling, tha...

While I did change from Our Year of Fiery Chaos 2024 to Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2025, I did not come into 2026 with a new fancy title for the year. We're only a few days in and, unfortunately but not unsurprisingly, there are too many possibilities. It will just be Our Year of Dumpster Fire 2026. Other things need my attention.  I've switched from the story I've been working on for a few months to the one I've slowly been working on for almost a year. It kept getting pushed aside for other projects, but I never let go of the intention to write it. This pushes my Lovecraftian Mythos story to the side for a while, but the writing is going well and I don't want to let this flood of story dry up without me getting the writing done! Even with all of that story pouring out, I'm still talking myself through daily life by writing poems. I catch stray thoughts that way. I make talking to myself sound fancy. Sometimes, the form of a poem is the framework for setting up ...